i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
