It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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