Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my being single is dangerous.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
