She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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