I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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