we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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