I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
this boner is exhausting
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
