let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
