i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
