You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The adults are the big ones right?
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