They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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