addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
