I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
