If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize