how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
