Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
