just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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