Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize