Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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