haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
