12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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