i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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