did you get engaged???
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
