It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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