I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
