I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
