She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Couch. On fire.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
