I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
