Are we in a gay sports bar?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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