420 ftw
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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