I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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