I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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