I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
