party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
