Four minutes until I can fart!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize