I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
