I've blown a few things in my day
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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