I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
