brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
