we're chasing vodka with high fives
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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