she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
