Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize