the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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