Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There r osticjed everywhere
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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