I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
