i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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