Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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