franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
