Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
try to milk me bitch
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