She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
