is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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