I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
