Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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