we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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