Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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