what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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