If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
