i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
