Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
