I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
